I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
