he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
