im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
