Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
