Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
