Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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