I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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