Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
