Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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