so that wasnt chicken after all
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
