i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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