Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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