it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
