ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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