Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
