you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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