More tranny stories later!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
