Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
