I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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