Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
