I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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