I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
