I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
