will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
