I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
