But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
