Just cropdusted the office
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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