so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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