the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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