He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
