i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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