He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
