Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize