He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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