i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
