I love black thongs
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
