So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
