if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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