threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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