come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
