fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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