these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I got inside last night via doggy door
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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