At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
