you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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