Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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