What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
