Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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