There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
