iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
