True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need water and some morals
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
