I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We left an ass print on the piano.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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